progressing..

We have been having a reasonble week.My students just finished their cambridge exams on Monday.Its quite a relief.I would work with them.so hard that they ended call me maleficient when she turned dark.Also the fact that i wear black most of the time contributes to that name:)i assured them i will turn good the moment we get good results from them. The test week for my secondary students is over too..i have only my report cards to finish..and then i am done too. Meanwhile,f teacher was happy with faheem ,especially yesterday.She told me that he voluntarily asked her for blank to draw..To DRAW..really..???what did he want to draw..INspector Gadget ..but off course.He wakes up asking for him and sleeps thinking about him.I asked what he drew..He said he drew all the different gadgets of the inspector and started naming them... i have also started to work on his bahasa Indonesia,the reading and writing.The school has refused to give him lessons in this..as they feel it will confuse him..with 2 languages taught simultaneously..I disagree with this completely but i don't know how else to convince them. i am thinking of mainstreaming him..with a shadow..i want to try again..lets see how it goes

Been awhile since i have written.A complete update is in order. Faheem is now eight and a half years now.He is a tall baby(he will always be referred to as baby by me no matter how old he is)He reaches to my ear now.My friends told me i look smaller than him...must be my petite frame..... :(. He speaks two languages now..english and I donesian..It something that I am really proud about..as i thought he will never reach this feat...But he cannot always understand most of what he listens.I am sure he is trying though. He is studying in a special needs school at the moment.He has been in this school for over 2 years now.His teachers and therapist are really wonderful and patient with him..And I know he can be quite a handful sometimes.. Gadgets are an addiction for him..be it the ipad or the laptop..i try my best to limit it..but everytime i try to hide it..he finds them..i feel he has a sixth sense for these things..HE watches the news and enjoys reading the wikipedia...At one point in time he was obsessed with the character Noddy..and research on the when the first book on Noddy was written..and so on He would constantly talk about it until regret of introducing it to him.But that craze is over..He enjoys watching Inspector GAdget now...when i ask him what is he watching he would answer..that he is watching the 'classic' INspector GAdget..i asked him what he meant..he said he was watching the original episodes that was created in 1983.....and so i ask him ...what is the one that is the modern one?I just wanted to make sure if he understood what classic meant..and he said..the modern one was inspector gadget and the galatiners..Ooooo..he has done his research and understood it..😃. Like that he loves to find different type of facts and amaze me.Unfortunately ,it doesn't bewilder his peers..At one time he asked his cousin from India what channel he watched in India?His cousin answered cartoons..Not satisfied with his answer F asked again what channel did he watch in India..and his cousin didn't answer this time ..And then Faheem suggested..that he can watch star news channel..there is news in it...They didn't relate..but looking at the positive side of things he was doing small talk😛😜😜 Behind in his gross motor skills,f has just learnt to jump..we love to play hop scotch to gether and he thoroughly enjoys it.. Academically..he has alot to cover still..His focus and attention always gets in the way.In school there are good days and bad.. I try my best to teach him at home too.. For me...I am taking french classes..just fulfilling some of the items on my wish list.. I am enjoying it... My life in a nutshell..

This blog needs updating..

And we are back..its been quite sometime..Faheem will be 8 years old this September..big boy😊alot has happened..

Sometimes i wonder why i can't let go of guilt..the guilt of not doing enough for faheem ,or the guilt of not knowing what is bother him or the empty look in his eyes.I wish i didn't feel so guilty when people ask me why is Faheem not responding as happily as he use too...

I wish i had some magic powers to figure out what my son is going through everytime...honestly i wish i can make him happpppy all the time....sigh

As for school..F passed the probationary period...and after 6mths attending class with the younger kids (2-3yrs)..he was promoted...the teacher told me that she didn't want to detain F in the younger class since he is too old already for the younger children class...Well it doesn't matter i am sure he will fair better this time with children who are three and above.I hope the teachers this time will learn to understand him better.One thing that amazes the teacher is that inspite of F 's lack of attention in class he catches what the teacher does...He can relate to me what the topic of the day was in class today...of course i have to ask him..he won't tell me voluntarily...Usually its correct...(smile).He has learnt to queue,learnt some songs,arts though not doing it voluntarily yet,and slowly he is learning to be independent..i no longer accompany him in class...i wait for him outside...there are times when he begans to stim or talk to hime self(being doing tht often)..but considering all the milestones he is passing ,F is in my eyes doing a good job...
I have stopped occuppational therapy with Bu Eka and have started to do it on my own...I consider it more bonding time for F and me....Still doing ABA...I hear alot of complaints from the ABA therapist..F has managed to count upto 20 and has began to learn to read.But she said that F's progrees is not consistant so she can't teach him something different...F has no interests in academics yet ,therefore the inconsistancy in studies...I want to give him time in this.He is not even 4 yet.i teach him at home too.I believe he has understood the concepts of reading..its just a matter of time that we learn how reading will benefit him..once again he is not even 4...it will take him time.
Sensory Integration is going on fine..he is doing small amounts of sequencing..taking instructions like a pro..
I have just started Brain Gym...still too early to give any opinions about this therapy..

Holland...

an article a friend sent me that touched my heart...
WELCOME TO HOLLAND

by
Emily Perl Kingsley.

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

What an eventful month...Faheem started school.I have opted for mainstream.He is on a month probationary period.I do not why he is on probationary period,as this school accepts at least one autistic child in a class...nevertheless,i won't argue with them....I will play along

How is Faheem doing in class???well..once the teacher enters and begins to introduce some study material..he will start to stim.He will keep telling me "Mooma buka pintu,kita go".(mooma open the doo,we go).But i insist on staying.Finally he settles down,but will refuse to do any activity...its ok...one step at a time...this is a form of therapy...he will have to learn to settle in any situation.But the positive thing about it is he knows the names of the children in the class...and when i asked him what the teacher was talking about ..he answered...burung(birds)...while i was buying his uniform(so unnecessary at the moment..but since f insisted..as he likes the school logo BONA on it ..so oh well)he started to sing rolly polly...

Thats a start isn't it???:)))))

Honestly speaking,i am as nervous as he is when i am with him in the class.As much as i don't want to admit that the stares from the mothers don't bother me...they do.F's therapists are so confident that F will blend in..then i should...

Yes,i shouldn't let stares and comments bother me...

F started occupational therapy as well.The therapists Eka,

told me needs to work on his fine motor skills that he is lacking terribly.

But there is one thing that confuses me..she said he can talk but there is absolutely no two way communication...

No interest in any sort of play(hmmm!)

Odd pretend play which does not make sense

His perception in recognizing objects has not reaches its optimum stage(huh?)

He can't begin play and once he has started to play he can't stop...that too the way he plays is not how it is suppose to be..

F is not autistic(really????)

All this she concluded in an hour of observation..of which much time was spent on cleaning f vomit...(he puked all over the place ,poor thing),and cleaning f poop and after which he pee-ed...it was definately not a good day for the three of us .

By that time i didn't want to argue.I know she is not entirely wrong.There are only a limit amount of things F is interested in ..like transportation for example..loves all his motor bikes and cars trucks etc....

As for the pretend play..i think it has become better...but still it is not up to par for a three year old

Two way communication...OF COURSE there is a 2 way communication...infact after his second visit to Eka he could tell me what he did...But he still can't tell me each and every detail..he will when the time come m,as he learns more vocabulary .

I didn't say anything..i just listened and nodded.I am sure f will surprise her with his ingenuity as he has done with other therapists and me...I know it has been a tough job for the therapists to teach him..to woo him to them..in time they will see he is smart,it is just a matter of getting to know to how beautiful he is...Faheem ..you will always be beautiful in my eyes..Ya Allah help me bring out the best in him

As for the last thing...he is not autistic...then i wonder y his f on a probationary period because he is autistic???

So is my son autistic or not?????If he he is not..then what is he?

a lil disappointed!!

F has not been feeling well for almost a week now.Cold and cough.We are very selective in giving him any med for his ailments since F in our opinion seems to regress if given the wrong meds.

We took him to the doctors a coupl of days a go..F pediatrician from the day he was born...the fool WHO UP TO A CERTAIN PERIOD IN TIME DENIED THE FACT THAT F HAD AUTISM. ...if it was not for Y i would never set foot in his office.

F is usually uncomfortable in the doc's office.This time though he didn't cry as much.He only started to cry when Y inserted the thermometer in is armpit...this ritual is suppose to be handled by the doc..but he didn';t want to do it..instead attended to a call..Once the thermometer went off,f quickly set up...i n the doc immediately started to write the prescription...(on what basis was he writing the prescription..f did have a temperature)i asked him to check his mouth.. to that he answered..he wanted to but since f was violent...VIOLENT??????.F was not violent..he was not biting..hitting..he NEVER has,masyallah..and he would have never done it to him.F was crying and a little uneasy...Finally he checked his mouth,that too he refused to hold him directly,told Y to hold him .AND THIS FELLA HAS BEEN GIVEN A DEGREE IN PEDIATRICS..TO HANDLE CHILDREN?????

I honestly felt hurt..my poor baby being ostracized for autism and that too from a doctor who should be the most compassionate of all.This is not the first time that it has happened..Sometimes i feel people get autism wrongly.People out here relate autism to a violent mental disease .It;s these things that worries me bout F future..i hope by then f will be ok..pls Allah help my son,when i am not around.